The King of Cigars

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The King of Cigars

پستتوسط delinglish » پنج شنبه تير ماه 14, 1397 9:21 pm

Ask not how far I have come
I have come
Come to this wonderland
Give me your hand and land
In this wonderland
I should have never listened to my old flame Sanaz. She is the one who put the idea of getting a nose job in to my head, in the first place. I have had this ginormous nose that sticks out like the middle finger, screaming “Fuck You!” Not that I care much about how I look, as I have earned the right to look however I want on account of racking up a few billions of dollars trading in contraband goods. Just like James Brown used to sing,” I have paid the cost to be the boss.” So, I thought my nose could stand out like the tower of Milad; it was all hunky dory as long as it could sniff out moolah. With all this chicanery and fraud running amok in Tehran, I should have checked the doctor’s credential though. I’m from district 19, born and bred, a tad closer to the border of district 17, Ghaleh Morghi to be exact. I almost know every nook and cranny of this deranged city. If you are from Tehran, you don’t have to be born rich to have money, with a little bit of luck,and a little bit of a sharp mind, you could easily make a quick buck. You don’t have to be Sharif-university educated to make it. In fact, I barely finished high school myself. As a matter of fact, I bought my diploma for 2 million tomans. Who would give a rat’s ass about how you got your degree. When you are sitting pretty, you can be a banker or bank robber, robbing a nation blind and running to Canada, no one can indict you.  When you got money, you are untouchable. It is bizarre how even the car you drive can rub off a certain amount of knighthood on you, driving people to call you “Sir.” That’s what happened to me when I sold my 5th batch of bootleg cigarettes in Tehran and bought the first Turbocharged Toyota Celica, 4gt,  that cruised the streets of Glaeh Morghi in 1999. The emperor’s new ride was red. I had caught sight of another Celica 4gt, on Jordan street, but the owner must have been one of the rich bitches tied to his mommy’s apron string and his daddy’s silver spoon. They don’t call me the king of cigars, for nothing

James Brown used to sing I have paid the cost to be the boss
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Glossary
Old flame: lover, former person you were in relationship
Nose job: nose surgery
Ginormous: very large
Rack up: To acquire or accumulate a large number or amount of something
Contraband goods: goods that are brought into or taken out of the country secretly and illegally
Stand out: to be very noticeable
hunky dory: If events or situations are hunky-dory, they are very satisfactory and pleasant
sniff out: discover, find
moolah: money
chicanery: clever, dishonest talk or behaviour that is used to deceive people
fraud: the crime of getting money by deceiving people
خر تو خر run amok: to behave without control in a wild or dangerous manner
credential: the abilities and experience that make someone suitable for a particular job or activity, or proof of someone’s abilities and experience
a tad: a little, somehow
every nook and cranny: Any part or section of a given place, especially those that are hard to see or reach
Deranged: mad; insane
A quick buck: easily and quickly earned money
Don’t Give a rat’s ass: Don’t care, don’t give it a shit
Indict: formally accuse of or charge with a crime
Bizarre: strange
Rub off: be transferred by contact or association
Batch: a group of things
Cruised: travel smoothly at a moderate or economical speed
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تاريخ عضويت: پنج شنبه تير ماه 14, 1397 9:14 pm
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